Answers for frustrated sysadmins in times of crisis – mix’n'match as you see fit.
- MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now, spoofs addresses.
- MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now, lies about where it comes from.
- MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now, does not tell the truth when it lists its sender.
- MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now, is untruthful about its origins.
- No, you didn’t actually send MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now – it was sent by someone else, and the virus wrote your address as the return address.
- No, your computer is not infected with MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now – somebody else’s anti-virus software is braindead and automatically assumes that the return address is where the virus actually came from.
- MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now, is not on your system – whoever told you that is a fuckchop and deserves to have his or her eyelashes yanked out one by one by a burly half-Swede nicknamed “Stinky Jens”.
- Your computer has absolutely nothing to do with MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now, but maybe if you keep yammering on paranoiacally it WILL.
- If you’re truly concerned about MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now, then I can give you something immune to all computer viruses for dirt-cheap.
- MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now, has infected your system and there is absolutely nothing that can be done about it because you’re a stupidhead bile jockey.
- MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now, is only infecting YOUR computer. YOU are the only person on the ENTIRE PLANET affected by this, and EVERYBODY ELSE is laughing at YOU because YOU are the focus of the GLOBAL MEDIA. All stories you hear about other people being affected are outright lies.
- Why, of course I can drop everything to protect your computer from MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now! Just hang on a second while I inform the rest of the company that you’re more important than them.
- MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now, is a figment of your fevered imagination. Just like this guy. Now eat your chicken soup and go back to bed.
- MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now, is actually part of a secret plot to establish a one-world government and outlaw Christianity. But you didn’t hear that from me.
- MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now, is all that’s keeping your brain from being controlled by evil robots. Keep it moving! FREE MANKIND! DEFEAT THE DECEPTICONS!
- MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now, is a perfect analogy for the distinction between Jungian and Adlerian psychologies, don’t you think?
- MyDoom, the virus you keep hearing about on the news right now, is the reason your puppy went to sleep and never woke up.
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